Cleanliness is next to Turkishness.

Back at last! A short trip back to Canada to square away my work visa (what IS the matter with Ottawa anyways???) and now one week of classes under my belt at a brand new Istanbul University. I am now Mr. Roy to some aspiring Mariners who need to learn how to speak English. This teaching gig will be a veritable gold mine of material for a blog. Turkish boys 17 to 24. Trust me, they are not men. Nor are they Devo. They are boys. Now on to more pressing matters. This business of hygiene.

   We in Canada have been guilty of passing judgment on those Europeans for being, lets say, relaxed about their personal hygiene. The pecking order usually involves the English being the worst of the bunch (ah heck lets throw the Scots in too) particularly for their low priority placed on dental care. The French wear perfume so as to not reveal their stench, and no one seems to shave their armpits. Turks are no different. We in the West (yes they view themselves as not in the West) are not bad. There are some serious areas for improvement, but for the most part not as bad as others. Other areas of the world are viewed much less charitably. Lets just leave it at that.

What of these areas for improvement then?? Where do these Turks get off thinking us squeaky-clean Canadian’s are not as clean as them?? Well, I have to say, they most definitely have us on one front and it all begins with the toilet.
“The toilet? You mean those Turkish toilets I read about in my ‘Let’s Go Europe’ book?” Not exactly. Those same toilets are still up and running. You never know when you’re gonna run into them. It’s pretty much luck of the draw. I feel though that everyone should use them at least once. It’s character building.Usually, there is a little tap down next to where you are squatting that has a little bucket with it. You may pour water from the tap then splash away from the bucket in the hope that you will take care of what toilet paper normally does. If you’re lucky, some even have toilet paper. These “ à la türque” toilets are slowly vanishing . Turks of my generation cannot fathom how the older generation ever coped with them. No modern times mean modern toilets. Just like ours in Canada, except for an ever so simple enhancement.

This could be one of the greatest contributions to global bathroom practices ever introduced! Its beauty lies in its simplicity and its universality. A small hose (some more upscale types have it built into the porcelain) is attached to the toilet and the tap for it is just to the side of the bowl. Once you’ve made your effort, simply turn the tap on and a blast of water cleans the starfish for you. Toilet paper is now used for drying mostly. The feeling is one of refreshment. Your backdoor is clean! I don't care if it costs thousands of dollars, I'm having this installed in home home back in Toronto.
 Every household has this built into their toilet. Every restaurant bathroom. Everywhere. Imagine then growing up with this and learning that they over there in the West DON”T wash their asses after they go? What are they?? Animals??What else do they not do?? It turns out, plenty!Turkish men shave their armpits. I am told, that they are inspected once a week, (the armpit hairs) during their mandatory military service to ensure they are not getting too long. The practice then is maintained back in civilian life. The cleanliness benefits I’m not so sure about but I do understand that it takes care of additional odor. The cab driver I had the other day discounts that theory but then again it was hot out. So imagine if you will, the hairiest gorilla of a man (like the guy I saw at the gym today!) that you’ve seen this past summer. Back, chest, arms. Dark curly hair and lots of it.  Now think about how a man such as this would actually bother to shave his armpits. Someone I know asked if the armpit hair grew down to my legs not knowing that it stops at some point. I am also told, that it doesn’t just stop at the armpit hair. I can only rely on hearsay because given certain customs of modesty, Turkish men change at the gym with towels wrapped around themselves. Its just like Grade 8 Gym class all over again. There was that one guy who was too shy because he hadn't "matured" as quickly as the other guys. To hide his shame, he would find a quiet corner and wrap up in Star Wars towel his mom bought him. Then change. All men are like that here. 

It is absolutely unfathomable to ever wear your outdoor shoes in a Turkish person's home. No no, you'd be offered slippers immediately when you arrived. Every home has slippers for guests. I visited a home on the Black Sea the other day that had slipper for the patio. You'd then enter the home without foot wear at all. (The house by the way was absolutely spotless.) This caution around outside kooties is taken to new heights with the machine that wraps your shoes up in plastic at the gym. Insert foot into plastic and wham-o! Instant foot wrap so that you don't soil the floor with the unmentionable things you must have walked in in the 10 paces it takes you to get to the change room. My daughter's school is the same way. If you need to walk up the stairs, please wrap your feet in these plastic do dads.

Yeah I'd say they are over all a cleaner bunch here. They're certainly more fussed about things than your average Canadian. I'll be sure to point out other items as we go along.  Canadians still come out number 1 for dental hygiene though. Turks take in tremendous amounts of sugar daily through tea consumption. Unless that changes, Canadians may not wash our asses but we have better smiles!